Sweetheart

We met when I was young and foolish, stumbling from one bad friendship to another.
You took my hand and held me up,
You said you fell in love with me, and that you would do anything to see me happy.

I was hurting and broken and reeling from rejection,
And you wiped the tears from my eyes and under the constellations
You held me
And whispered sweet nothings in my ear
While the heavens shown bright and powerful in the sky,
And I thought that we were invincible.

You told me that cold winter's day that you loved me,
You said you were nervous, shaking, even,
And I admitted that I was not impervious to your charms.
You whisked me away and brought me close and suddenly life because a little sweeter,
Kinda like a lolipop that was old and dry on the surface, but once you wet it
It turns into the most delicious thing you have ever put between your lips and folks,
Please,
Get your minds out of the gutter.

Once I had uttered those life changing words from my lips you sped down the tracks,
Racing time and distance and all obstacles lying in your way to my heart.
I gave it to you willingly, and there it sat beating, though bloody and wounded and scarred
And bruised and the tiniest little light of hope rested there.
You tore accross the landscape of my broken little figure that leaned helplessly naive,
And you promised me little things that made life worth living.
You gave me hope that, perhaps, I was loved, that I was so important to you that you would give up everything for me.
You told me that you were mine.

In the dog days of summer you took me to your side and began your internal soliloque
That rattled me to my core.
You revealed the turmoil inside, or at least the first few raindrops, and were unsure of what to do.
You were hesitant to call me your girlfriend, your one and only;
You were terrified of what might happen with your school friends,
That they may not understand, might mock you, even, but
In some regards, you didn't care.
I was yours. That's all that mattered.

A month after the news of us being official broke and a torrent of emotions coursed through my veins,
You began to disappear frequently.
No returned messages.
No smiles, no cute hearts, nothing.
They told me, "You're thinking too much! Don't worry!" And I believed them
Stupid girl.
You told me she had kissed you, and that you didn't know what to do.
You told me that you two slept together in that damn'ed tent,
And I still to this day wonder if it was more than a kiss.

You asked me if I minded you dating other people,
Because in your world, we could never be.
You said that you would let other people have a chance,
That, because we are physically separated, we are not real.
You told me this with humored emoticons.
I didn't see what was funny.

You didn't see the crying and dying young girl with the innocence of a newborn lamb shaking with her sobs as she read the screen.
You didn't see the mental breakdown that happened because her worst fears came true, and that you were a liar and a stupid kid who didn't understand anything about love.
You didn't see how unhappy she was and how she so desperately wanted everything to be a bad dream and how she prayed and prayed to a silent God that someone, anyone would help her, or that you might realize what she is and what you have done.

She stands looking up as the cold, sharp rain pounds every inch of her body it can reach, blinding her,
But that may just be the tears.
She stands with a knife lodged through her heart, but even that does not hurt as much as the words you had to say.
She cries a little, knowing that she was worthless to you, that she was not the diamond in your haystack like you had promised her, that she was not the one for you that you had told her two days earlier.

You say you still love me.

I don't think you know what love is, little boy,
Because love is a totally self-giving thing where you sacrifice
Everything
For the person you love.
Love has no borders or boundries.
Love is not limited to a 5 mile radius.

You tell me you love me.

You obviously dont.